Watching the telly can be injurious to health…

… and not just from your blood pressure rocketing during the news.  The simple act of watching the televisual hypnotiser can have drastic effects.

It’s all too easy to settle down in front of the box; if BBC Four were broadcast all day, you’d probably have to come in once a week to chisel me out of the porridge-encrusted sofa cushions and hose me down with Dettol.

Being a telly addict can have serious consequences. Your bank balance will take a thrashing as you wantonly order online another pizza to be pushed forcefully through your letterbox so that you can retrieve it using only an outstretched arm and an old hockey stick, and all without missing a single footstep of the iguana fleeing the snakes on Planet Earth II.

Your muscles will atrophy as you sit still, your lack of movement making Miss Havisham look as speedy as Usain Bolt. And remember the warning about getting square eyes? That could be just the beginning, as it was for one poor soul, Sarah.

Click here to read Sarah’s tragic story as told to The Reaper by a passing poet.

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